In response to George Bush's new "energy plan"

This by progressivegrannie's husband:

The plan George Bush should have developed…makes about as much sense as the one he did come up with…

PRESENTING GEORGE BUSH’S
FEDERALLY LISTED ANAL TECHNOLOGY OF THE U.S., or FLATUS

As an alternative energy plan, George W. Bush has submitted the following plan to the U.S. Congress and the American people:

The plan, known as FART, or Free American Rectal Technology, is designed to help America reduce its reliance on foreign oil for energy production. The plan requires that every citizen 21 or older obtain a FART device from the Federally Listed Anal Technology or FLATUS center. After obtaining the device, one need do no more than follow the simple instructions which consist of inserting the end of a tube into one’s rectum and placing the collection bag on ones waist or thigh. The methane gas collected in the collection bag is transferred to a “holding tank” also obtainable at FLATUS. Once the tank registers “full” the tank is to be taken to a FLATUS center to be siphoned into a larger tank, which will subsequently be taken to a local electrical energy plant for use. Collection vehicles will also visit neighborhoods once a week for those individuals who are homebound or without transportation.

In order that the FART system works optimally, the President will ask Congress for a $280 million dollar farm subsidy to encourage farmers to produce beans, which will be available to the general population at the FLATUS center. The President believes that the increased production of methane will off-set the increased costs of the agricultural subsidy. The plan will reduce dependence on foreign oil to 25-30% for within 5 years.

Remember: Americans cannot be energy independent unless we all go down to our FLATUS Center and try FART.